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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Maeve has two. Amy has two. And Joel has three. There you go.

SAGAL: All right. So Maeve and Amy are tied. I'm going to arbitrarily decide that, Maeve, you get to go first. All right?

MAEVE HIGGINS: Yeah.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank, Maeve. Early on Thursday, Vice President Pence certified blank's election win.

HIGGINS: Joe Biden.

SAGAL: They did it.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Nancy Pelosi narrowly won reelection to her fourth term as blank.

HIGGINS: The leader.

SAGAL: No, it's speaker - speaker of the House.

HIGGINS: Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

SAGAL: According to reports, President Trump is polling his aides to decide whether to blank himself.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: Pardon himself.

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Monday, the U.K. denied a U.S. extradition request for WikiLeaks founder blank.

HIGGINS: Oh, I cannot for the life of me remember that man's name.

SAGAL: It is Julian Assange. On Tuesday, Alabama's DeVonta Smith became the first wide receiver to win the blank in 30 years.

HIGGINS: No idea. But I'll tell you what I love about Alabama.

SAGAL: The Heisman Trophy is the answer. After rumors of layoffs...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Began spreading through a Mercedes Benz factory in Spain, one employee blanked.

HIGGINS: Left.

SAGAL: No, stole a bulldozer and crushed 50 brand-new cars. Furious that he may lose his job, the man assured he would lose his job by stealing one of the factory's bulldozers, driving it to a parking lot and smashing over 50 cars with it. He then tried to drive it inside of the factory to the production line but was stopped by security officers before he made it. Look. It is a car factory. It's not the U.S. Capitol. Oof. Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Maeve had two right for four more points. She now has six and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

HIGGINS: Winning.

SAGAL: Winning.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK, Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Following his incitement of the mob that stormed the Capitol, Facebook banned blank indefinitely.

AMY DICKINSON: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, deaths from blank hit a single-day record of nearly 4,000 people.

DICKINSON: COVID.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, police in D.C. arrested the leader of the white nationalist group the blanks.

DICKINSON: The Proud Boys.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, over 200 workers at search giant blank announced they had unionized.

DICKINSON: Google.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Due to the surge in coronavirus cases in California, the blank awards announced they were postponing till March.

DICKINSON: Grammys.

SAGAL: Yes, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Over the holidays, a man in the U.K...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Woke up to a hangover and the news that he had spent over a hundred dollars to blank the night before.

DICKINSON: I don't know.

SAGAL: He had woken - he woke up to discover that he had legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh.

SAGAL: Thomas Dodd - no, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Celine Dion says...

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...That he was baffled when he received a big, white envelope informing him of his recent legal name change. But it's all coming back to him now.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Over the holidays, he enjoyed some drinks while watching a Celine Dion special and decided it was so great, he had to change his name in honor of her. He's embarrassed, but he is a frontrunner for the 2021 Grammy for best new Celine Dion.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Wow.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She had five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right, then. How many does Joel need to win?

KURTIS: Joel needs five to win.

SAGAL: All right, Joel. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, two more Louisville officers involved in the death of blank were fired.

JOEL KIM BOOSTER: Breonna Taylor.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Joe Biden picked blank to be his next attorney general.

KIM BOOSTER: Merrick Garland.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, it was reported that blank had increased their uranium enrichment to 20%.

KIM BOOSTER: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In honor of the 25th anniversary of stuffed-crust pizza, Pizza Hut has announced a new menu item, blank.

KIM BOOSTER: Stuffed crust pizza again.

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: No, just the stuffed crust - no pizza.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After a can of its product was found in the wreckage of the Capitol, blank condemned that assault on democracy.

KIM BOOSTER: Spam.

SAGAL: Axe body spray.

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: On its 12th anniversary, cryptocurrency blank jumped to record highs.

KIM BOOSTER: Bitcoin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After she received zero job offers in three months...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A woman reviewed the resume that she had posted online and discovered that the computer had blanked.

KIM BOOSTER: Created it blank.

SAGAL: No. It had listed her name on her resume as Princess Banana Hammock (ph).

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The woman was understandably upset that not a single employer had reached out to her, so she checked out her resume, only to find out in huge letters at the top of it, her name was listed as Princess Banana Hammock. Apparently, the Word document automatically changed her given name to her computer's username, and she did not notice. Employers did, though, and were clearly too nervous to reach out to a member of the monarchy to offer her an interview.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Joel Kim Booster do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he had four right for eight more points for a total of 11. That means with 12, Amy is this week's...

DICKINSON: Woo.

KURTIS: ...Champion.

SAGAL: Woah. (Chanting) Amy, Amy, Amy.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Well done. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.